So.. I went to the dentist today.. and yesterday. What I was hoping for was some kind of quick fix .. what I found out was I've got to have braces. I'm 21. I don't want braces at 21. If I was going to have them 14-18 would have been a great time. Not now.
They keep saying "it's common now days.. we see more and more people that are 24 or 25, even people in their 40's and 50's, getting braces for the first or second time." and the entire time while they're saying this.. I'm thinking to myself "Where in the hell are these people located? and why have I never seen them?" Personally, I think it's probably because they have decided to become hermits until the horror is over. Something else they aren't considering is that all of those people are probably married so they don't have to worry about trying to impress anyone! The social aspects of it suck and it's incredibly depressing.
Depressing to the point that I'm considering not doing it. I know it's for the overall health of my mouth but have they considered the overall health of my self confidence? I'm starting a new college this fall.. going in with a mouth full of metal should help me make TONS of friends.. not. I'm starting to worry that this could leave some horrific emotional scars since for the next two years I can guarantee that there will be no dates or guys who hit on me in bars. Granted, the outcome may be awesome but is the suffering worth it? I know.. kids do it all the time. Children also make farting noises and are surrounded by others with braces. That's really not the case in college. Most people by my age have this over with and are now sporting blinding magnificent smiles.
I know I should be thankful that my parents are paying for it.. because they're awsome and are able to.. but mostly I'm just upset and depressed over it. I know deep down it's better to just do it and get it over with and spend the rest of my life like the all the other people with perfect smiles.. but I really don't want to.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Still confused.

Maybe the post was right.. Maybe I do need to figure out what I want? I've thought a lot about it and still have no real idea. A companion. Someone to have fun with and be intimate with. Someone to confide in and not be shy with. Maybe I just want someone to make me feel as special as all of my friends seem to feel with their boyfriends?
I guess I could just be shy? Maybe I just read too many romance novels and have my expectations set so high that no one will ever really measure up. Is it possible that I learned too much from other peoples relationships? I never thought that it was possible until I reviewed my life. I watched my sister get burned horribly by a few bad relationships. I'm always the one everyone comes to with their relationship horror stories. I seem to be the one everyone comes to for advice when I have no real experience. Can you really give good advice without having any experience? I apparently seem to since I work as the 'mom' with all of my friends.
I still don't understand. I'm hit on constantly at work.. and I work at a hotel! Maybe I'm not really putting myself out there, since I've never taken any of them up on the offer (they're at a hotel and asking the desk clerk out..I'm sure that will lead to something other than a few too many drinks and getting asked up to their room). I am sorta shy and come across as mildly bitchy sometimes. I suppose those two things alone could ward off guys. Maybe I seem slutty? I don't really wear that much make up and I don't have some huge tits to show off so I don't really think that's the case. Maybe I reek of the 'desperate for someone' scent? I don't know anymore. I'm still baffled by my forever single status.
Oh, and my pictures are totally random.. depending on my mood I just pic one from the ginormous stash I have taken over the last couple of years. A lot of them are from my summers in Alaska. Some are just from being stupid at home or from vacations and some.. are just random pretty things I thought I would share.
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